Annoying Crush

Chapter One

“James, you're so slow! Get out of my way!” I screamed 

“Hey, I'm not slow, I'm just…tactically paced” I glared at him

“Tactically paced? You mean slow! I'm still trying to get the point of all this stress” I announced “we’re getting late already”

“No, I'm not. I'm just savoring the moment. Unlike you, you're always rushing like a mad person” 

“I’m not mad, More like very efficient. Not like some people who take a whole 15 minutes to arrange their hair. You're not a lady for goodness sakes Jp”

“My hair is an important part of my day little sis, stop being annoying”

I watched as he immense every second into styling his hair carefully and I just kept staring at his annoyingly handsome face, his piercing eyes, slender arms and charming smile made my heart skip a bit. The way his hair curled slightly at the side of his neck, left me weak in the knees. Every time he flashed his pearly smile, it weakened me. His effortless charm, calm demeanor and charisma drew everyone to him and I was no exception, except I shouldn't be.

Eight years. That's how long I've been stuck in this endless loop of unrequited love for James, my stepbrother. Twelve years of stolen glances, fleeting smiles, and whispered secrets. Twelve years of secretly loving him, my heart beating just a little bit faster every time he's near. I've watched him grow from a gangly teenager into a charming young man, and yet my feelings remain the same like a constant, burning flame that refuses to fade.

I remember the day my dad introduced me to his girlfriend, Megan, and her son, James. I was 8, and James was 10. My dad beamed with excitement, but I was skeptical. I didn't want a new Mom. I missed my own mom but she was gone and I couldn't help but blame Megan to be the reason why Mom left us. Little did I know, James would become a constant presence in my life, and my secret crush would last for 8 years. I disliked Megan and couldn't stand seeing her with my Dad. But all my efforts to stop the blooming relationship between them was for nothing. Megan liked me and would always call me her ‘little champ’, she always tried her best to come close to me but I didn't want her and I created an invisible boundary between us. Somehow my friend convinced me to let my dad be happy and I decided to let them be. Before long they got married and James became a registered member of our family. I was too young to understand it back then. 

James was always by my side and as we started merging our family, I saw something which I didn't understand at that young age but somehow I do now.

As we spent more time together as a blended family, I found myself looking forward to his presence. He was kind, gentle and funny. He made me laugh and his smile was charming.

I tried to brush off my feelings but it only kept growing as each day went by. 

As the years went by, my crush grew stronger. I was scared and confused for having a crush on my stepbrother, we weren't related by blood but we're a family now and that ain't changing any time soon. We had the same surname already.

As we went through high school, we were always together either arguing or playing together along with my best friend Amanda, who I know had a huge crush on James too. James joined the basketball team and I would always attend his games and that would be my most joyful moment of the day cheering him from the sidelines. Our parents would hold gatherings and I'd find excuses to linger around him. I felt like a shadow invisible yet intensely aware of his presence.

I couldn't bear it any longer or else I stand the risk of him finding out about my unrequited love. I had to stay away to at least give distance between us.

                                  ******

An idea popped into my head that afternoon on my way back from school. I was alone and tired and I just needed some alone time to think things through, or maybe come up with a better idea on how to let go of the feelings that were blooming inside of me. 

“MANDY!” I let out an easy smile

How come I didn't think of this! Amanda. I have known Amanda almost all my life. We grew up in the same neighborhood and also moved together when our families decided to change location. She had also pleaded with me once to allow My dad remarry if that would make him happy. Mandy, as we call her, was a very sweet, beautiful, hardworking and intelligent young lady. She was slightly too sweet for her own good which made her a center of attraction for all the boys in school, but she had a crush on James which was so obvious whenever we're together yet James that blockhead never noticed a thing.

I was lost in thoughts and smiling sheepishly when I noticed Mandy from a distance, that's when the whole idea became clear.

“Mandy” I called and she turned 

“I thought you left me again Lex” She pouts

“I'm so sorry bestie, you know I can't leave you” I ruffled her hair trying to get her pissed, she's just too cute.

“Yeah right… Last week it was totally the opposite. You abandoned me for real” she rolled her eyes

“Sorry my cookie” I hugged her from behind “ Mandy…” I called 

“What is it girlie?” she asked tiredly 

“Remember when you told me you had a crush on Jp” Mandy covered my mouth almost immediately

“Watch your mouth Lex. Do you want the whole school to find out” I bit her hand

“Awwch… You're so stubborn Lex” she pat her palm gently

“Well he has a crush on you too” I announced without a second thought.

“Are you serious?” She was already smiling from ear to ear “Or is this your new joke Lex” She paused and stared intently at me

“Hell no! I'm the most serious, I can ever be right now” I shrugged

“OMG! I never knew this day would ever come Lex. I'm so happy.” She held her chest tightly, playfully touching her hair while she blushed. “Maybe that's why I had that dream of winning the lottery last night, and I've never played the lottery before”

We both burst into uncontrollable laughter as we walked home. Amanda kept going on and on about how much she liked James and all she wanted to do with him. I had no idea what to tell James when I got home, I just wished the ground would open up and swallow me or the distance would become even longer but it grew shorter than before.

                                  ******

A few hours later, I sat by the balcony with my phone playing Candy Crush trying to distract my mind from the pending dome. I had been avoiding James throughout the whole day. At dinner, I avoided making any eye contact with him and rushed to my room immediately after I was done. Because he was definitely gonna find out if we had any conversation whatsoever.

James appeared right in front of me, the one person I was avoiding. He dragged my phone from my hands before I could think of escaping. 

“Lex, why are you avoiding me like a plague?” he looked pale “You've been avoiding me the whole day, what's wrong Lex”

“I didn't, I was… I thought…” I stammered badly

“What have you done now?” He asked. I hate that he could read me so well, even more than I know myself.

“What… why are you asking that kinda question?” I was fidgeting

“You always stammer when you've done something wrong, and will you stop stammering and talk straight.”

“I told Mandy that you had a crush on her!” I shut back to to get it off my chest

“What! Alexa!?” He was shocked “Why did you do that?”

“I thought it would be really sweet if my two best friends had a thing, since she likes you” I said avoiding eye contact.

“Since when did she care about my happiness Lex! Wait, did you just say Mandy likes me?” Shock written all-over him

“Oh so now you want to know” I hissed and walked off ignoring his persistent calls.

                              ******

   I woke up very early the next morning. The aroma of fried plantains and fried rice woke me up. Steppy, as I called her, was up already and preparing breakfast. We were not like any regular family having bread and tea for breakfast because Steppy always believed that eating a good healthy meal was a good start for the day. I quickly showered and prepared for school before rushing to meet her in the kitchen.

“Morning Alexa” She was always the first to greet and I don't know why.

“Good morning Steppy” I sat comfortably on the dining table

“Have you ever been in love, Steppy?” I asked thoughtlessly

“Wow! What a fun way to start the day Lex” She laughed heartedly “You're always unpredictable Lex. Ok why did I marry your Dad if I wasn't in love?”

“I'm kinda stupid sometimes,” I shrugged. “But Steppy, if you fall in love with someone that you know it's impossible to be with that person, would you tell the person or let them go?”

“Wow! My baby is interested in love. Alexa, love is crazy and the more you try to fathom it, the crazier it gets” She explained which confused me the more.

“Do you know you just confused my little brain the more” I tilted my head gently and she laughed again. 

“Help me set the table and go get your Dad and James ok, Lex”

I left James ' room hurriedly ignoring Megan's first instruction. 

"Lex!!!” She called

James lay flat on his bed staring at the ceiling. He looked like he had a lot on his mind or maybe he's thinking about Mandy and the whole mess I created yesterday. He didn't look uninterested or maybe he's also crushing on her.

“Come on. Breakfast is ready” I crossed my arms and glared at him. He didn't respond. “JAMES PHILIP NORMAN” I called his name loudly

“Lex, who're you in love with?” 

“What!” That was a shocking question coming from him “Were you eavesdropping on my conversation with Steppy?” I glared

“Well, are you?” He ignored my question

“You bet I am! Yes bro I'm in love” I faked a smile. While James stood there wide-eyed with shock, his jaw dropped in disbelief.

“What!” Dad shouted.

“Dad, Dad, Dad! It's not what you think!” I chased after Dad and tried to clear things up. I've just put myself in a big mess.