Chapter One: What can I say, I love a plump ass.

Ocean POV

"Now that is a fine ass. So plump and round and…"

"Mom." I turned to look at her, deadpan. "Do I go back to my room, or are we actually watching this movie?"

She didn't even flinch. Just tossed a piece of popcorn into her mouth with the unbothered energy of someone who had zero remorse about what just came out of her mouth. Her freshly dyed pink hair, last week it was purple, next week God only knows, was piled on top of her head in a messy bun, her eyes still glued to the screen with open appreciation.

"What?" She shrugged, the corner of her mouth tugging up. "I have eyes, honey."

"And so do I." I gestured vaguely at the TV. "But you don't hear me giving a full commentary on his…" I waved my hand, unable to finish the sentence without cringing. "Is this why you picked this film? We were supposed to be bonding."

She finally looked at me then, grinning without a single ounce of shame, the blanket pulled up to her chin. "What can I say." She sighed dreamily, glancing back at the screen. "I love a plump ass."

I groaned so hard I felt it in my spine.

She laughed, that big, loud, completely unfiltered laugh that used to embarrass me at school pickups but now just felt like home, and pulled me into her side before I could escape. I let her, mostly because arguing with my mom was like arguing with a golden retriever. Pointless and somehow you always ended up losing.

We settled back into the couch cushions, her arm around my shoulder, the movie playing on. It was our last night before I left for Linchester and she'd made a whole thing of it. Popcorn, blankets, her picking the movie which, clearly, had been a trap from the beginning. Typical mom. The woman couldn't do anything straightforwardly if her life depended on it.

"What are you thinking about, honey pie?"

I looked up at her. "How it's biologically possible that you're a mother."

She gasped, pressing a hand to her chest like I'd genuinely wounded her, her eyes going wide with exaggerated offense. "Excuse me?"

"I'm just saying…"

"I carried you for nine months, Ocean Grace Shaw." She pointed a finger at me. "Nine. Months."

"And yet."

She scoffed, but her mouth was fighting a smile. "Sorry to bust your bubble, sweetheart, but I am your mom."

I gave her my most pitiful look. "Yay. Aren't I lucky."

She opened her mouth to fire something back and then stopped. The teasing in her expression shifted into something softer, something quieter, and she sat up slightly, adjusting so she could actually look at me. Really look at me. Her eyes did that thing they did sometimes, going from goofy to completely genuine in the span of a second like flipping a switch, and I felt my chest tighten a little in anticipation.

"I'm really going to miss this," she said.

I raised my eyebrows. "Watching fake butt"

"Real," she interrupted, pointing at the screen.

"Watching debatable content on a Thursday night?"

She gave me a look. "You know what I mean."

I did. I just wasn't ready to say it out loud.

She reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, a habit she'd had since I was little, and exhaled slowly. "Would it make me a terrible mom if I asked you to take a gap year?"

"Yes."

"Ugh." She dropped her head back against the couch. "Fuck."

"Language, Mom."

She lifted her head to stare at me, bottom lip pushed out in a full pout, eyes already going suspiciously glassy at the corners. I watched her try to hold it together and fail spectacularly.

"Hey." I straightened. "No crying. We said no crying."

"I'm not crying." She blinked rapidly, waving a hand in front of her face. "I'm just, it's the movie. There's dust. Something's in my eye."

"Mom."

"Both eyes apparently." She sniffed, and then laughed at herself, wiping the corner of her eye with the edge of the blanket. "Okay fine. I'm going to miss you. Sue me."

"I'll be back." I leaned my head on her shoulder, staring at the TV. "College isn't prison."

She pressed her lips to the top of my head and held them there for a second longer than usual.

"I know, baby," she murmured into my hair. "I know."

The movie played on. Neither of us said anything for a while.

I didn't tell her that my stomach had been in knots for three days straight. That the thought of a whole new place, whole new people, whole new everything sat in my chest like a stone I couldn't swallow past. I didn't tell her any of that because she would worry and then she would cry for real, and then I would cry and neither of us would recover before morning.

So, I just stayed tucked into her side and watched the movie and let her steal all the good popcorn from the bowl.

I had one rule going into this.

Keep your head down. Stay invisible. And for the love of everything holy…stay away from hockey players.

Simple.

I was going to be just fine…But I should have known. Fine and my life never worked together cause tell me why is it the first day of my collage life and I’m staring at a dick.